Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
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Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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