I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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