i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
how does that bad decision feel?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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