Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize