No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
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we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
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Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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