so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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