You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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