I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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