Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize