the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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