I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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