Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize