Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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