someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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