We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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