I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize