Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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