you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize