he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize