Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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