If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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