Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize