a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize