i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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