does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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