the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize