how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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