The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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