is your mom at the bar?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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