I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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