Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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