Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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