So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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