i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize