in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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