Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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