ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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