He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize