We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize