She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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