i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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