i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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