Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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