got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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