well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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