I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize