I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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