He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
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