I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
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Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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