Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Ladies don't puke and tell
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize